ENDANGERED ORPHANS: HOUSE OF RATH

Cultist Queries
over 3 years ago – Fri, Sep 04, 2020 at 09:58:23 PM

Konnichiwa Covians!

So, since we let the Cultist add on out of the proverbial bag last week I've been inundated with questions about how it'll be added to pledges and such, and since most people prefer to watch two idiots tell you about it than read about it, behold:

Here's something we forgot to mention in the video: 

IF WE DON'T MAKE GOAL OR YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THE 1,000 BACKERS TO GET THE ADD ON YOU WILL BE REFUNDED YOUR $15 PLEDGE, OR YOU CAN PUT THAT EXTRA MONEY TO USE FOR THE SHIPPING.

Since Jesse also mentioned we were going to start the anti-stretch goals off with a slight against our own Brent, look below...if you dare.

And of course, what would an update be without a poem from our own Myles Keystone III

Now go forth and do good, but from a social distance of 6' and with your mask properly positioned on your face. None of this below the nose crap!

Screw Off, Paul!
over 3 years ago – Sat, Aug 29, 2020 at 12:34:30 AM

Bidet Covians!

First, the good news: We've reached the final stretch goal!! Wooden Room Tiles!!

Second, the bad news: One of our backers thought they'd be super nice and donate $2500 to get us there. Thanks Paul! Jerkface.

So yeah, now that we've hit the final stretch goal we're moving onto the Anti-Stretch Goals, especially if you all keep feeling so friggin' generous. Again, thanks a lot Paul! 

Stay tuned towards the beginning of next week and we'll let you in on the Social Stretch Goals we've got planned. They're pretty spiffy!

As always, wash your damn hands and don't forget to love each other. Also, we hate you Paul!

Ladies and Gentlemen, the moment you've been waiting for...
over 3 years ago – Wed, Aug 26, 2020 at 01:45:41 AM

Since Rick has left the lunatics running the Asylum, we've decided to throw caution, and a few other questionable things, to the wind and let you all know that: You've unlocked all 12 "Run Away" cards! Now we're aiming for the final $100k stretch goal and then...THE ANTI STRETCH GOALS!! Make sure you're telling all your friends and foes about this campaign on all your social media outlets because while we're still moving forward, we could always use a bit more monies :)

Speaking of more monies: We're letting Jesse tell you about his secret add on, and boy is it a real scream!

Now I know you all have questions and I'm here to help answer them. For instance, please see this helpful graphic below.

Still uncertain on what all of this means? Of course you are, my sweet summer children. Okay, once more for the people in the back:

1. The Cultist add-on is $15 and is limited to a run of between 500-1000. That means that if only 499 people add this, we will not be making it. It also means that if 1,001 people order it, there's going to be one unhappy backer. And that backer is named Patrick. Because he sucks.

2. The Cultist add-on contains the following: 

- a mask to place over the horrific visage of Count Rath.

- a speciality Cultist inspired fate board

- a new box to hold all the standard items that come with the existing tiers of House of Rath (along with the new mask and fate board) with new box art.

3. This box and its Limited Edition art will be replacing the standard box art for House of Rath and you DO NOT have the option of getting both the standard box art and the Cultist box art with this add-on.

4. No, the Cultist mask will not be available for separate purchase later on. 

5. No, the Limited Edition Cultist box art will not be available for separate purchase later on.

6. Yes, this is rather mean of us to make you choose when you are all such Greedy Bastards, but that's life innit?

7. Social stretch goals are in the works and coming to your screens soon.

Any who, that's all the news that's fit to print. Make sure you stop by www.certifiablestudios.com/store and see the great shirts/mugs/games/etc we have to offer you at reasonable prices! 

Wash your damn hands and don't forget to love each other.

More Run Away Cards and maybe we do need Nate...
over 3 years ago – Sat, Aug 22, 2020 at 10:28:31 PM

Well... we tried to film an update for y'all

A lovely couple decided to grace us with their presence on their way to honeymoon bliss!

Also, our own Miles Keystone III got his first piece of fan mail!

And as an added bonus...

Stay safe this weekend and wash your damn hands!!

Stretch Goals!!
over 3 years ago – Thu, Aug 20, 2020 at 02:56:22 PM

Greetings Covians!

It's been a busy week and y'all just keep helping us break those stretch goal locks! We've still got a couple more to go and plenty of videos coming your way, but we thought we'd give you a little video update today and since Nate is out of town for the week Jesse thought "how tough could one update video be?"

As for what you've just unlocked: It's simply an envelope to store your adoption papers when not in use. Some say it's even better than a rubber band! Congrats, you've unlocked paper!=. Woot Woot!!

Thanks for coming along on this orphan endangering ride with us!